I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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