just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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