If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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