I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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