another moral hangover. fuck.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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