Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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