Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
