I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
