then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
