I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
