I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
