Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.

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(330): I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome. http://tfl.nu/21pe

Replies (22) Good night (29482) Bad night (1322)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.

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(609): I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish. http://tfl.nu/0wzx

Replies (46) Good night (6392) Bad night (990)
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(912): View more from Georgia

I swear god or herbie drove my car home

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(912): I swear god or herbie drove my car home http://tfl.nu/eanl

Replies (34) Good night (5175) Bad night (1113)
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(917): View more from New York City

If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you

(917): View more from New York City

Those had pot in them

(917): View more from New York City

And good luck on your interview asshole

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(917): If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you (917): Those had pot in them (917): And good luck on your interview asshole http://tfl.nu/911g

Replies (51) Good night (17667) Bad night (1800)
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(303): View more from Colorado

At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?

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(303): At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea? http://tfl.nu/yszl

Replies (6) Good night (3357) Bad night (1017)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.

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(919): everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle. http://tfl.nu/lm2e

Replies (13) Good night (3743) Bad night (1479)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?

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(610): you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us? http://tfl.nu/gp4k

Replies (5) Good night (4177) Bad night (1180)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?

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(201): Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs? http://tfl.nu/s4vs

Replies (6) Good night (2683) Bad night (1138)
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(914): View more from New York

I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.

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(914): I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me. http://tfl.nu/7a7a

Replies (5) Good night (1577) Bad night (1682)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.

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(609): I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt. http://tfl.nu/9dqv

Replies (10) Good night (805) Bad night (2328)
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(971): View more from Oregon

Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard

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(971): Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard http://tfl.nu/g5bb

Replies (1) Good night (1246) Bad night (648)
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(925): View more from California

It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.

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(925): It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day. http://tfl.nu/ynaj

Replies (5) Good night (1353) Bad night (647)
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(719): View more from Colorado

Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.

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(719): Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless. http://tfl.nu/h5no

Replies (2) Good night (740) Bad night (447)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night

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(662): Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night http://tfl.nu/qcv1

Replies (1) Good night (442) Bad night (602)
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(817): View more from Texas

I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Good decision.

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(817): I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things (832): Good decision. http://tfl.nu/tpjd

Replies (0) Good night (589) Bad night (395)

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