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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (903): View more from Texas

  He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Alive.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  So much puke

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?

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• (607): View more from New York

  I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out

  (253): View more from Washington

  why what happened?

  (607): View more from New York

  Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  Run dude. Just run

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  can you please not set my house on fire for once???

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