He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We need to get me chipped asap
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"