my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
