Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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