So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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