what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i think i just lost a toe
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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