I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
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I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I was not drunk enough for that final.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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