and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
What drink are we having for lunch?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
