Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
