you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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