I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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