Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
