so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
