all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just invented taco cereal.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
