Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
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I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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