my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize