dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
