I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
