You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
