I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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