According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
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woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
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Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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