yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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