It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
