Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
