I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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