Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
