I need help removing her.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize