Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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