Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
