My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
