it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
