i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
