We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
