kristin has been a bad kristin
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
