is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
