please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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