i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
