I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
where am i from again
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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