So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
