Say something about gay babies.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
