He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
