You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize