It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
