I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
